Sharmaine Poh
single ♥
sweet 17
09/11/1991
Ngee Ann poly
Business Studies
Sunday, November 30, 2008 / 6:18 PM
So I won't hesitate no more, no more . It cannot wait, I'm sure . There's no need to complicate, our time is short . This is our fate, I'm yours .
Saturday, November 29, 2008 / 7:53 PM
Dying inside cause I can't stand it Make or break up Can't take this madness We don't even really know why All I know is baby I try and try so hard To keep our love alive
If you don't know me at this point Then I highly doubt you ever will I really need you to give me That unconditional love I used to feel It's no mistaking We're just erasing From our hearts and minds
And I know we said let go But I kept on hanging on Inside I know it's over You're really gone It's killing me Cause there ain't nothing That I can do Baby, I stay in love with you
And I keep on telling myself That you'll come back around And I try to front like "Oh well" Each time you let me down See I can't get over you now No matter what I do But baby, I stay in love with you
It cuts so deep It hurts down to my soul My friends tell me I ain't the same no more We still need each other When we stumble and fall How we going to act Like what we had Aint nothing at all now
Hey, what I wanna do is Ride shotgun next to you With the top down Like we used to hit the block Proud in the SUV We both know our heart is breaking Can we learn from our mistakes I can't last one moment alone .
Thursday, November 27, 2008 / 7:16 PM
i have a feeling this post is gonna be a long one . so why not drink a cup of coffee , finish up your work before reading ? tee-hee D:
ANYWAY , i had the greatest shock of my life . she underwent plastic surgery before . wtf ? & yesterday , i was still idolizing her like mad . should have known . that such pretty face don't exist . LOL . damn , she sure has a very pretty plastic face & big silicon breast . hahaha . feel so mean . but WHATEVER . plastic surgery disgusts me . its okay if you try to make up to cover up your flaws , make yourself prettier or what but .. why go under the knives & have a face that don't belong to you ? i don't get it . well , guys may love it . guys all love pretty faces don't they ? weather if its plastic or not , they don't care isn't it ? as long as its nice to look at . heh . i don't mean ALL the guys but just .. majority . they love barbie-doll face girls , thick make-up , big eye-linered eyes or whatever shit but they don't allow their girlfriends to put on make-up ? & they'll just start saying 'oh baby , you look gorgeous w/o makeup . just be confident of yourself.' haha . apparently , they do deserve one tight slap across their oh-so-pathetic faces .
& today , i saw a fucking slut in my shool . she wore a white dress that covers only her bums & the dress material is so thin & i can see her black panty or whatever shit underneath . DISGUSTING . somemore at the canteen . utterly ruined my appetite . she was still sashaying & shaking her oh-so-puny butt around as she walks . i mean its like .. GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY SIGHT BITCH . don't ask me why am i so agitated . cos i am . i wonder if she's attending school or working in a brothel . i don't wanna be mean , seriously . but i can't stand girls like her . fancy trying to show off their assests like scared people dunno she has like that . but sadly , she doesn't have any to show off . laugh out loud . some girls are just so desperate for guy's attention . tsk tsk . its okay if you wanna be sexy , feel sexy but know your limits . if you are too extreme , i'm sorry you just make yourself look so slutty and cheap .
after school , headed to dover mrt stn to wait for baby . outside the mrt , so many fucking SP people . can't stand it . gets on my nerve . & the toilet are full of bitches , frantically putting on 5 cm thick of make-ups on their faces . HAHA . i know SP is famous for the whatever 'er mei san' which is the school of business luh . where all the 'pretty girls' unite . & every single time i go there , i can't see any . finally , only recently , i found out where they were all gathering . THE TOILET . how hilarious . & oh ya , i hate the fans in the toilet . make my hair messy only . =.=
AHHH ! i'm loving my eye candy more & more each day ! i'm bloody smitten with her luh . she's like super hot & pretty :D i can't help but stare at her every time . i really envy her boyfriend . to whoever is her boyfriend , better treat her well ! if you make her upset/angry , i'll kill you . I SWEAR ! but hah , i do know who's her boyfriend . & they've been tgt for like 3 years ? omfg right ? haha . well , hope they last forever [: sweetest couple i've ever seen [:
chotto-matte ! one final thing to say . i fucking bang my head 3 times against the train door today ! >,< argh . how retarded can i get ? its pain one lor . okay , i'm done :D BYE PEOPLE !
baby , all i can say is i'm sorry . i can't help it . its been hard on you , i know . i'm tired too .
Monday, November 24, 2008 / 6:20 PM
I can't believe it, tell me i'm dreaming that we are still we. It was amazing, said you were lucky that you found me.
It was on a rainy day that we met, you didn't have a place to go. As we just met, so lets go slow. but no, you just told me to keep you from the cold. Sorry i can't take it, why did you fake it, why did we kiss.
And i'm just down, you've left me with a note, without a sound. I've figured i must stop being such a child. You'll never know how much i've been around. How my heart just frowns on your down. I'll be your teddy bear, i'll be your cloud, i'll take you round & round. And if you don't mind i could be your standing ground. Even if that means i'll drown.
As we just met, so lets go slow. but no, you just told me to keep you from the cold. Sorry i can't take it, why did you fake it, why did we kiss.
And i'm just down, you left me with a note, without a sound. I've figured i must stop being such a child. You'll never know how much i've been around. How my heart just frowns on your down. I'll be your teddy bear, i'll be your cloud, i'll take you round & round. And if you don't mind i could be your standing ground. Even if that means i'll drown.
And baby that will be my one last vow.
p.s: damn , this song just keep making my tears flow out like crazy . i dunno why :( i'll always remember you hugging me by the beach ,
singing this song by my ear so softly & gently :D & damn , your singing was great . ily , baby . 07.07.07 , 07:07 pm ♥♥♥
Girl you know I miss you so I didn't know you had to go You've had enough of our distance baby Before I had the chance to say I'm staying with you For the rest of my life
Don't keep telling me these words You don't know how much it hurts And I'll promise you eternity If you promise me your stay But now it's too late I'm no longer the man that I was
I will go on without her Like a fool who's too sure I'm like a bird who've lost her wing A fire without its flame I don't know how to be strong When my love has to move on I am a song without a soul Now that she's gone What's left of us is this song .
p.s: do you really mean the lyrics in this song ?
Sunday, November 23, 2008 / 8:12 PM
i'll start off the post with three smiles [: [: [: which means i'm happy . hahaha .
slept at 12 plus yesterday night due to a long chat with baby on the phone . planned to wake up at like 5 plus to cab down to his place . in the end , too lazy & forget to set alarm . nevertheless , i dunno why i woke up at like 6 . was like damn tired luh . pondering if i should carry on with my plans . finally dragged myself out of my comfy bed , prepared & left my house at 645 . which was a miracle i took such a short time to prepare . LOL . cabbed down to his place & he opened the door for me with a sleepy face . hahaha . so funny .
managed to pei him sleep for like 2 hours only ? haha . cos he said he can't sleep when i'm there with him . tsk tsk . in the end , we both woke up & started doing our own stuff like playing games . i played awhile then can't tahan alr & went back to sleep with him patting me(: woke up again by his phone vibrating & ringing under me . rawr . azman called to erm .. wake him up i guess ? haha . baby has alot of 'human-alarms' . cos he's a pig ! so anyway , before he pang-sehed me alone at his house , he said something very very adorable(: which made me just love him so much :
your silly darling is going for silly soccer training le . then after that we'll have silly lunch tgt . then we'll take a silly walk home & spent the silly day tgt :D
LAUGH OUT LOUD ! tell me , how adorable can he get ? & *poof* , he left :( wanted to sleep again but its so weird & akward luh . all alone in somebody else's house . so i did my business management project which i need to present tmr . managed to do it asap & left his house at 11 to wait for his trg to end . before that , went to whitesands to get slurpee for him(: but he complained that it was too sweet for him ! pfft . wasted my effort . nevertheless , he finished it . LOL . went to the swing , sat there & waited for his trg to end . & damn , it was so hot ! but i was lazy to move .. so ya , i 'sun-tanned' there . hahaha .
headed to whitesands to enjoy the air-con first before making our way to central & had lunch . baby brought me to eat prawn mee(: but didn't really get to enjoy the meal . menstral cramps are killing me!walked home after that , bathed & slept again . i wonder how long i slept in the noon . LOL . woke up at 330 & left his house . it was raining cows & sheeps can ? baby's ez-link no more $ so he walked to pasir ris mrt stn while i took bus . he don't allow me to walk with him cos i might get wet :( so i took bus & of cos , i reached earlier than him . the rain was really big ! showed no mercy . i was very worried . & its like so dark , i can't see if he'd reached . finally , he reached & he was all drenched . i was so heart-broken ! almost cried i tell you . i'm so sorry i live so far from you baby ! :( & everytime , you hafta send me home :( really thanks .
thats about all i guess ? on my happy day . hahaha . ban go han o ta be masu ! :D
I admit things ain't been the way I thought they would be. Didn't expect so much stress to develop between me & you. I knew that it wasn't easy but sometimes when we fight, it don't seems like God's design. But then I hear words you said & I promised I would stand for you & be true through the bad & the good. And I know what it means to be committed.
Friday, November 21, 2008 / 8:22 PM
here we are, in the best years of our lives. with no way of knowing, when the wheel stop spinning cause we don't know where we're going & here we are, on the best day of our lives. And it's a go, lets make it last, so cheers you all to that cause this moment's never coming back
I used to know her brother, but I never knew I loved her till the day she laid her eyes on me now I'm jumping up & down, she's the only one around & she means every little thing to me
I've got your picture in my wallet & your phone number to call it I miss you more, whenever I think about you I've got your mixed tape in my Walkman been so long since we've been talking & in a few more days, we'll both hook up, forever & ever
& here I am, on the west coast of America I've been trying to think for weeks of all the ways to ask you now I've brought you to the place, where I've poured my heart out a million times, for a million reasons, to offer it to you
I used to know her brother, but I never knew I loved her till the day she laid her eyes on me now I'm jumping up & down, she's the only one around & she means every little thing to me .
headed to KK hospital to visit my baby brother after school today . baby tagged along with a hungry stomach(: haha . its been like 2 days since he was admitted ? miss him so much luh . nobody disturbed me or played with me after school :( and for the 2 days , i dreamt of him . was very worried about him . luckily when i reached there , my mama told me he can be discharged today . & my mama was not surprised to see me there luh . i thought it was a pleasant surprise ? LOL . oh well , nvm(:
then took the KK shuttle bus to bugis & had lunch there . baby was lazy to go back school for his lectures . stupid SP with stupid time-table . pfft . but i forced him to go of course . he thinks his results very good sia . pon lectures . LOL . no offence . its for your won good(: okay , i sound so like a naggy mom . but i think baby would agree i am . right ? damn you .
his lectures right , nobody uses laptop de leh . its like .. WOW . SP lecturers are strict i guess ? they don't allow students to use laptop unless necessary & cannot eat ! their lecture hall so small , eat can see de . dangerous . so yeah .. both his lectures ended early . which is good . haha . hm .. baby mentioned something about a lecturer committing suicide & died . =/ thats saddening . one day your lecturer is lecturing , the next day , he died . how sad right ? of course i hope that don't happen to any of my school lecturers . though they're not any way related to me , they do play an important role in educating us .
headed right home after that . life's so boring . singapore's so boring . sigh . i wanna go abroad & study luh . i hope i can(: i did mentioned it to my parents before . they said if i'm capable , they'd do anything to sponsor me . can't wait for the day to travel abroad & study ! i asked baby before if he'd object or can't bear that i'm leaving , he showed not much response . he was like "go lah , not as if after that you not coming back . very fast one mah ." tell me people , issit good or bad that he's like that ? =/ i really wonder sometimes . is my dearest boyfriend 'over-supportive' or in a sense , 'cant be bothered' . seriously , i can't tell . can't blame me for thinking that he can't be bothered or he aint gonna miss me when i'm gone . girls are 'feelings' creatures . & it kinda hurts me when he's nochalent sometimes . do you know baby ? :( i don't like it . at all .
there's alot of things he don't like too , that i can't bring myself to change completely . thats why it gets so very tiring & fustrating sometimes . sigh . aiya , so many problems ah ! imagine having to change the way you are every now & then . baby's doing well in changing , i'm not . i dunno why . my personality/character is very very stubborn . rawr . my temper too . i'm not bad-tempered towards anybody except him . LOL . how weird right ? & anyway , i hate changing . cos its so hard for me .
put me into sleep right now . in simple words : just kill me . a life that's so demanding , I get so weak . a love that's so demanding , I can't speak . happy pills , anybody ? :\
Thursday, November 20, 2008 / 7:51 PM
argh ! whats wrong with hey gorgeous ? every comments that i posted , they don't allow . saying i said something mean ! but its like hell no . there's like other mean-er comments luh . wtf . damn pissed . anw , hey gorgeous is just lame lah . LOL . so whats with the hunks & babes . i know SP has alot of hunks . but they are like so thick-skinned can ? ''hey , check me out at the hunks section . i'm xxx from school of xxx ." such hilarious comments they also dare post . hahaha . no offence uh seriously . if you're hot/pretty/handsome , don't have to announce to the world . you'll be recognised eventually . not having to go through such lame competition . & anyway , you can't bring your beauty to the grave(: but anyway , some people do deserve to win . cause i guess they're really one hell of a hunk/babe ? hopefully their character will be as good as how they look .
beauty is in the eyes of a beholder . there's no ugly woman , there's only lazy woman .
@#$%! JAP SPEAKING TEST WAS SCREWED UP ! i was like damn nervous luh . & when it was my turn , my mind totally went blank . the first sentence : ask your friend where is he/she going on friday . i actually forgot whats friday . how hilarious . sigh . but oh well , its over . i hope i can pass . =X *fingers crossed*
i'm feeling tired very easily recently . physically & emotionally . its like so much had happened . & its like a cycle . it happens over & over again . i tried to stop ; i tried to control . everyday i just go to school with the cheerful smile & retarded me , always falling & talking nonsense . sometimes , a part inside of me tells me i'm not happy . i dunno why . i have everything in the world . a perfect family (note - i didn't say parents) , perfect boyfriend , my soft toys , my collection of correction tapes , stickers , snowglobes & all the clothes i want . but i dunno whats wrong recently with everything .
my parents - speechless . all their attention is on my youngest brother . they kinda neglect me often & yet , they turned their back and said i don't give a shit about the family . they said i don't contribute enough . HELLO , I AM STILL A TEEANGER . HOW MUCH CAN I DO ? expect me to work & give you money ? don't be ridiculous . i am not spendthrift . totally not . yes , i shopped till i drop SOMETIMES . but i have a savings of close to $1000 (don't rob me pls) . & that excludes the money in my bank all these years , ang bao money & the few hundred dollars i recieved from my grandfather every now & then . tell me , where on earth do you find a teenager with a savings of close to $1000 now ? all my expenses , i manage on my own . i don't ask for anything from you two . except the new hp recently , that is . i'm hardworking i'd say . i study & my results are quite okay . i don't disappoint you two in any aspect . just because i have a boyfriend & i tend to go out often , you two treat me like a kid . reach home must call you , must be back home at a certain time , banned from going countdowns , go out must ask for permission , can't go out more than 3 times a week & etc . its like .. i am not an ah lian . i don't misbehave or what-so-ever . why be so harsh on me ? i remember how i have to beg you two to let me go countdown with my friends last year . how i have to sneak out of the house & be back home before 6 in case you find out . even during the holidays , the rules didn't slacken . for the days i can't go out , i just practically rot at home . how pathetic .
my father's favourite question when he gets home - ME : daddy . DAD : why didn't call me today when you reach home ? ME : *omg* errr .. i forget . DAD : *frowns with a stern face & angry voice* no such thing as forget . i don't want you to forget again . understand ? ME : *a lil hurt* orh .
my mother's favourite question once in a blue moon when she's a little too free - MOM : eh , what u doing ? like so busy . u very long never talk to me alr . ME : *busy* i doing project . MOM : finish le talk to me hor . i got daughter like no daughter liddat . ME : *rolls eyes*
its like .. wth ? you two don't even make an effort to understand me , to talk to me . & now its like i'm nochalent about the family ? thats utterly unfair to me luh . everytime also i kena all the nagging . i don't understand why . my brother can play game the whole day & he escapes everything . while i'm busy studying , doing work , i'm being called out , stand infront of them like some idiot & listened to what THEY got to say for 1 hr plus . trust me , it happens to me ALL THE TIME . when they feel there's a need to 'communicate' , thats what they do . i feel so 'small' at home sometimes . no dignity , no right to speak . i only have to agree & take whatever they got to say to me . sigh .
i feel so unloved & uncared for sometimes :( insignificant . only with my friends & baby , i feel appreciated , loved & like a real teenager . thats why they're so impt to me & i treat them like gold . i yearn for their company . i'm not trying to act lonely or pathetic here because saying all these really embarrass myself so much . its just that i don't really have a good listening ear to pour everything out to . so i wish somebody would listen to me ...
there's a tear behind every smile .
Tuesday, November 18, 2008 / 1:14 PM
I don't wanna do this anymore I don't wanna be the reason why Every time I walk out the door I see him die a little more inside I don't wanna hurt him anymore I don't wanna take away his life I don't wanna be a murderer
Our love , his trust I might as well take a gun & put it to his head Get it over with I don't wanna do this anymore .
Thursday, November 13, 2008 / 8:29 PM
went out with girlfriends after school today . its been so long since i saw them luh . really glad to have met up with them . headed to starbucks , sat down & chit-chatted . charmaine's pink ipod touch is damn nice :D how i wish i have one too . lols . after that went to BK's toilet to cam-whore . the toilet is freaking small . the 4 of us went in & its was alr very cramped . valerie didn't wanna take any pics with us ! :( sigh . so she was the photographer . haha . a short one too . XD (pls don't kill me val) finished cam-whoring & headed to far east . damn lots of ******* there . hate it . rawr . & all their sense of dressings are freaking good . pfft .
pictures taken with girlfriends & LMS group mates recently :
p.s : life is like taking a train . there'll be people boarding & people alighting at the different stations of your life . my journey in your life has been a long & thrilled one . its full of ups & downs , dangerous twists & turns . & finally , its time for me to get down . i'm sure the next person who board it will be better than me in every day . i've been a very disobedient , unreasonable & ridiculous girlfriend . i expect you to do alot of things & it was never enough . i get jealous/angry over the slightest things . i can't help it . if i could change , i'd have done it long ago . i tried but failed terribly . i don't wish to burden you anymore . with my ridiculous thinking & philosophy . you'll prolly be the first guy i loved so much & the last one too . i'll never want to fall in love again . i'm not able to handle the pressure i'm putting on myself . yes , i caused myself so much pain . serves me right . i don't deny it . & prolly , no other guys will stand a terrible girl like me . they won't be as patient & tolerant as you . i'm very glad to have taken on this journey with you but i'm sorry i can't continue the ride with you . stay strong okay ? thanks for the memories .
Sunday, November 9, 2008 / 8:28 PM
some of my favourite pictures taken ! there's ALOT more . haha . first time took so many pictures in a day can ? check out the rest of the photos in my friendster ! :D
THANKS EVERYBODY FOR THEIR BIRTHDAY WISHES THROUGH EITHER SMS , FRIENDSTER OR BLOG :D thank you all so much ! really made my day(: and esp to dearest jiahui , thanks for the muffins ! it tastes really great . haha . she's really my world best best friend . she travelled all the way down to changi airport terminal 3 just to pass it to me . sweet isn't she ? :D of course , not forgetting my dearest baby too ! who bought a delicious slice of orea cheese cake and delievered it personally to my house & spent quality time with me(: ahhh ! best birthday ever . seriously .
spent the whole day at sentosa yesterday . haha . watched the beautiful sunset at palawan beach(: the previous time , we watched it at siloso beach . but that was many months ago . LOL . i still remembered , that month we spent the whole day at sentosa also . haha . that was my first time going there ever since i was a teenager . we took cable car which costed a bomb but we enjoyed ourselves very much . however , this time we couldn't afford to ride on the cable car . so instead , we took the monorail . my first time sitting that too . LOL . & we sat on the sky ride . our first time :D baby's really afraid of heights . his palm was like super sweaty . it was a really great experience all in all [:
after everything , we headed to vivo and had carl's junior for dinner . haha . wonderful day ! i enjoyed myself very very much . thanks baby for making everything possible(: no amount of words can contain my appreciation & love for you . i'm sorry your last birthday was kinda disastrous . i promise that your up-coming birthday will be a blast & a great one too ! I LOVE YOU .
if i could pick one moment & keep it shining forever , i'd pick the moment i met you .
Saturday, November 8, 2008 / 10:22 AM
konichiwa(: o gen ki desu ka ? sorry for the lack of updates again ! been really busy with school stuff . anyway , this week was packed with projects & homeworks to complete . tons of projects to do luh ! and as usual , of all , dss pbl is killing me & my group mates . when we showed LKK (my tutor) our task 2 and he said correct , my god , i just practically let out a small cry of joy . seriously , i felt like screaming . so do my group mates . haha . need to thank alot of ppl for their help . but nevertheless , we only completed task 2 . DAMN . there's still a long way to go . and we are like left with 3 weeks ? pfft . poa quiz coming right up next week . i thought i'd never touch that subject again & threw away my notes , tb & stuff . what a waste . i do still need it :( sigh . guess i'll start from scratch again ? LOL . but it aint as bad as i thought . i still rmb the stuff quite clearly . DEBIT ; CREDIT ; LEDGER A/C ; BALANCE SHEET . haha .
i bought 3 online clothes from hui fen's sister blogshop . haha . damn happy ! [: i dunno why i like to shop online . usually when i shop outside , i'd not want to spend money buying clothes . but when it comes to blogshop , i just wanna BUY BUY & BUY . anyway , i got 10% discount . hahaha . so it amounted to $68 . baby paid $30 for me(: HE'S THE BEST ! haha . then yesterday , went back to school to do LMS project . was quite sian at first , cos like actually no school de mah . hafta come back do project . BUT i love my group ! video taking was so hilarious ! very very funny :D oh ya , baby came over to pei me the whole day . he pon-ed school . cos ytd was our 16 month anni ! thanks baby(:
then headed to cineleisure to watch 'quantum of solace' . was quite alright . haha . next stop was far east . went to remove my extension . i bid them goodbye :( the good thing is that i can now comb my hair , wash my hair with ease alr . shopped ard & saw a yellow tube dress i like alot ! on the spot , i rly wanted to fish out my $ to pay for it . it costs a hefty sum of $40 . baby kinda like reprimanded me :( he was like saying i bought so many clothes recently , haven even wear then want buy new one again . then say what i waste money , ltr no $ eat , starve myself & stuff . isn't he adorable ? just love him when he nags :D haha . i thought for quite some time & decided to get it next time . & i hope it'll be real soon luh . cos i rly rly like it alot . & i don't have any tube dress in my wardrobe :(
tmr is my birthday ! finally , i'm 17 . haha . though old but .. ya . LOL . my parents nagged at me yesterday night . saying that its like my 'birthday' talk . they pointed out alot of stuff & hope that i can change some of my bad habits . talked about my school , relationship & stuff . was kinda pissed lah . like wth ? its that your way of wishing me happy birthday ? by nagging ? though i'm 17 alr , they still treat me like a kid . seriously . they have a say in everything . even in the kinda clothes i wear . sigh . but of course , i kept it to myself . even if i voiced it out , would they listen & understand my point of view ? so ya .. sat there & listened to them for like 1 hour plus . & guess what ? THEY GAVE ME A NEW PHONE AS MY PRESENT ! when i recieved that , no amount of naggings i recieved matter anymore . its a pink samsung touchscreen phone(: i love it totally ! thanks daddy mummy ! <33
timecheck : 11 am . gotta go get prepared and meet baby for my birthday celebration ! haha . i hope we'll take lots of picture today . HE PROMISED ME . hahaha . bye people ! :D
we're not gonna waste another moment . we won't come back the world is calling out .
leave the past in the past , gonna find the future . and misery loves company . well so long you'll miss me when I'm gone .
plenty of dresses
make me grow fatter
travel around the world
adidas sports shoe
pink sony digital camera
ipod touch
5 more snowglobes
trip to liverpool